Sports and Entertainment

Tim Falletti

I’m going to be honest.  I am not sure how to review this movie.  It’s difficult because I am not quite sure I saw an actually movie last night.  I am pretty sure I just saw a bunch of nonsense on the screen that didn’t make any sort of sense.  I am going to try my hardest to get through this review but honestly, I just want to forget I even saw whatever garbage I saw last night on a big movie screen.

Here are the facts:  Fact 1 -The first Transformers was decent.  It was an action movie with big robots fighting each other.  It was mindless, it was fun at times, and it didn’t make me want to punch puppies. Fact 2 - Megan Fox is gorgeous.

Having said that, Transformers 2 has these facts:  It takes everything that was fun and decent from Transformers 1 and makes a mockery of it.  It amps it up a thousand million trillion times and makes it completely unwatchable. Fact 2 - Megan Fox is still pretty gorgeous.

Let me try to explain this “plot”.  Shia La-beef is still Sam.  He still talks the same way and acts the same way he does in every other movie he has been in.  He finds a sliver of the cube thing from the first movie and starts seeing visions.  The bad robots want to know exactly what is going on in those visions, and the good robots don’t want them to find out.  Explosions ensue.  A lot of them.

That’s the plot.  I think.  I can’t remember because I was in shock watching some of the really horrible cliches in this movie.  The slow mo walks, the horrible dialogue, the “Michael Bay” stock shots.  All of them are in here in abundance.  The thing that really gets me though…ugh.  The thing that really gets me is the blatent and offensive stereotypes that Michael Bay has reduced the robots to.  It’s so bad, I don’t really want to explain it in this review.  I don’t think it deserves any kind of explaination besides “Don’t see this movie”.

So in other words, I really really recommend you don’t waste your hard earned money on this movie.  If you want to rent it on DVD fine.  But it’s a complete and total waste of time.  It’s not fun.  It’s painful.  But hey, it has Megan Fox.

Tim Falletti

When it comes down to it, marriage is one of the scariest, important, frightening, beautiful days of a man’s life.  But before that day happens, you have to have one last night of pure debauchery.  Enter:  The Hangover.  If I have a bachelor party one sixteenth as crazy and funny and life altering as the one in this movie, I will die a happy man.

The story of four guys going to Vegas for a bachelor party might sound stale.  But what they do here in The Hangover is different.  We never experience the night with the guys.  We wake up in the same Vegas hotel room hungover, missing a friend.  We are detectives that are trying to piece together the night with these guys because they can’t remember their night of debauchery. That little twist makes the experience that much funnier.
Think of the first time you really knew about Will Ferrell.  My guess is that it was probably in Old School.  That role brought us such comedies as Anchorman, Ricky Bobby, and Step Brothers.  Without Old School, Will Ferrell would not be the star he is today.  Without Old School we wouldn’t have the whole Apatow clan.  The Hangover is to Old School as Ed Helms and Zack Galifianakis is to Will Ferrell.  This movie is going to make those two complete and total stars.  10 years from now when Galifianakis is on his fifth summer blockbuster sequel, you will think back to The Hangover as the movie that started it all.  And just like Old School, The Hangover will be played over and over again in dorm rooms for years to come.

I am not getting into hyperbole when I say that The Hangover is the funniest film of the year…and quite frankly, it’s probably the funniest movie in about five years.  Its raunchy, it’s sarcastic, it’s physical, it’s psychological.  It will make you laugh hard, it will make you chuckle, and it will make you start laughing out loud two hours after you have gotten home and finally got the joke.  It’s funny.  There I said it.

I have two rules in my house.  1.  Take off your shoes before stepping on the carpet.  2. No television in the bedroom.  I know the first rule is common in this country, but the second is not nearly as accepted.  You see, in my opinion, the bedroom is for two things;  sleep and well you know the other one.

Last night Conan O’Brien took over The Tonight Show and I am finding it harder and harder to follow that second rule.  I never watched The Tonight Show when Leno hosted.  I didn’t watch Letterman either.  I stuck with Stewart and Colbert.  I’m 27 years old and those two guys along with Conan just seem to speak with me more than the older gents that previously filled that time slot.

Last night was Conan’s inaugural Tonight Show and to my delight, he hasn’t lost one step.  The opening gag of Conan running cross country through Chicago, St. Louis, Las Vegas, Arizona…..classic Conan.  It also symbolized that Conan is faster and edgier than Leno is, and that a new regime is in town… literally busting down the walls that so many have become accustomed to.

Conan’s first guest were Will Ferrell who is always funny and Pearl Jam who were good in my opinion last night.  There may have been one too many video gags and the Hollywood D gag fell short, but  the story is not there.  Conan is back.  And better than ever.

So all in unison:  Circle!  Circle!  Circle!