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The last time I saw this cartoon, I was ten years old.  I remember watching this damned thing over and over again.  To this day, I sing this song on Halloween, and my coworkers and friends always ask me, “What the hell is that from?”  I always tell them, and no one has ever seen it.  Until today.

I give you, the best Halloween cartoon ever.  The song is guaranteed to be stuck in your head tonight when you are at the bar boozing it up and hitting on the sexy young girl dressed as a schoolgirl.  No schoolgirls at the bar?  Then you are in the wrong place fella.

Welcome to a very special edition of Check em’ out/ Throw em’ out.  It’s Halloween and that can only mean 2 things:  I am going to get really fat on candy or I am going to watch horror films tonight.  While there are only two new releases in theatres this weekend (Check out Zack and Miri, throw out Molley Hartley) I decided to take my ass to Blockbuster and rent a couple of scary flicks. 

CHECK EM’ OUT

What is it?  A Nightmare on Elm Street.  A group of teens is terrorized by Freddy Krueger, an evil being who gets to his victims by entering their dreams and killing them.  Don’t fall asleep!

What’s it rated? R for still holding up as one of the best damn horror movies to date.

Why should you see it?  Chances are you haven’t revisited the original in a few years.  It’s still the creepy movie that haunted your dreams when you a kid.  I used to be deathly afraid of Freddy growing up.  I still think it’s one of the scariest movies ever.

 
What is it?  Halloween. The greatest independent movie ever made.  You know the story by now:  Young Michael kills his sister.  He gets locked up in a mental hospital for years. He escapes and goes back to the town to finish what he started.

What’s it rated? R.  While many say that it isn’t gory enough, it’s the right kind of cerebral movie that still gives chills

Why should you see it?  It’s Halloween!  Revisiting this flick should be an annual occurence.  Like Rudolph is to Christmas, Michael Myers is to Halloween.  While many complain that it’s just a bunch of scare tactics with music and not enough action, it’s exactly what John Carpenter set out for.

What is it?  The Exorcist.  Voted the greatest horror movie of all time in many many polls, the Exorcist is a tale about a possessed 12 year old girl and a priest set out to save her.

What’s it rated? R for strong language and very very very disturbing images.

Why should you see it?  It’s one of the best movies ever.  It’s the one movie that can really disturb grown men.  It’s great.

What is it?  The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003).  The remake of the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre starring Jessica Biel.  Jessica Biel…mmmmmmmmmmmmm

What’s it rated? R for being the best remake (and that’s really not saying much I know) of all the remakes.

Why should you see it?  Exhibit A:

Nuff said.

THROW EM’ OUT

Japanese Remakes:

The Ring, The Grudge, The Ring 2, Etc….. Throw em’ out.  They’re lame.

ANY REMAKE BESIDES TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE.

Halloween, The Amityville Horror, The Hitcher, Prom Night, etc.  All of these remakes are horrible.  They lack what the original’s had:  Scare factor.  Any movie rated PG-13 isn’t going to be a good horror movie.  It’s going to be a teeny-bopper crap fest.  Sorry Rob Zombie.  Your Halloween remake was garbage.

LOL.  Do even remember the original Last Dragon movie?  I do.  The movie if you don’t know is about these black martial artists who go out to find a this “Glow” thing.  (I think that is how it went).  The movie was so cheesy that they had an arcade owner turned karate badass named Arcadian or something like that.  The villian was named Sho’ nuff and his gang would always reply to his stupid questions by yelling Sho’ nuff!  Haha it was great.  I will search youtube for something ridiculous to post after this.  Anyway, Samuel L. Jackson is Field of Dreaming his way into this flick as the aforementioned Sho’nuff.  (Didn’t get that Field of Dreams reference?  If they film it, Sam Jackson will come).  I can’t wait for this.  It’s nothing but comedy gold.  On my way to search youtube now.

Holy crap. LOL What would we do without youtube? Enjoy!

The followup…er….prequel….er…sequel….whatever.. The Tom Hanks fueled Angels and Demons movie came out with a trailer today.  In the movie, Tom must hunt down Jesus.  Wait..that can’t be right can it?  No he must hunt down some murderer in Rome and stop a bomb in the Vatican, all the while coming up with more consiracy theories that Christians will no doubt boycott.  I love me some Tom Hanks, but man does he need to stop with these crap Dan Brown movies.  What the world needs is a Forrest Gump 2 - Gumpier. 

Tim Falletti

With news buzzing around the internet over Mark Millar’s proposed “Lord of the Rings-esque” Superman trilogy, I had to chime in with my two cents.  I am one of the biggest Superman fans to ever walk this planet (ask my girlfriend - she loves the Superman statues located throughout the house).  I think the character has pretty much been butchered in film.

Christopher Reeve was an amazing Superman.  Don’t think that I didn’t like him as the character.  The movies were horrible though.  Richard Donner did an admirable job with what he had to work with at the time, and subsequently got fired because of it, but the movies never really captured the essence of the character. 

Bryan Singer’s Superman Returns was just Richard Donner’s Superman made too boring.  And messing with continuity was a huge mistake by invited Superman’s kid into the mix.  Why WB and DC let him do that, the world may never know.  It was ridiculous.

Smallville kind of had a thing going there for awhile before it became Gossip Girl with superpowers.  Yeah they really messed with continuity, but they did it in a way that was fun for a little bit.  I personally don’t watch the show anymore, but I know there is Doomsday in it, and he is a 20 something heartthrob.  Ugh.

So where should the series go?  They need to start from scratch, and Mark Millar’s idea is pretty intriguing.  I don’t like his view to start 1000 years before Krypton blows up, and end with Supes being the last man on Earth looking up at a red sun….but I think Millar has his heart in the right place.  I feel that they should simply start from the beginning with people that love and care about the character being watchdogs over the creative differences between film makers and DC comics.

Look how great Batman Begins and The Dark Knight turned out.  Two of the best comics-to-film movies ever produced.  They used reality, great actors, great story, and a great director.  Superman needs this.  Superman Begins if you will.  Start in Smallville.  Have Clark discover his powers.  Have him realize he is different and why.  Use the comic book Superman: Birthright as a freaking map on where to take the character.  But:

FOR GOD’S SAKE DON’T USE LEX LUTHOR!  It’s been done.  A billion times over!  Superman needs to fight someone or something that is going to give him a challenge.  Look at Marvel’s Hulk.  The Ang Lee was detested because it was all story/ no action.  Superman needs some damn action!  Show him using his powers!  How hard is that?!

Finally, just do the damn thing right.  He is Superman.  The greatest comic book character ever invented.  If you do it right, it will become the best franchise in movie history.  Superman is adored by all.  From the old lady who doesn’t know anything but him being Superman, to the comic book dork that knows everything (i.e. me).  Please Warner Bros.  listen to the fans! 

Before you go and tell your friends at your friendly neighborhood comic shop that this is fact, know that the source is very shaky, and it absolutely sounds like crap…BUUUT

Some Aussie newspaper is reporting on Christian Bale being weeks away from striking a deal as Dr. Strange:

Christian Bale is set to play another superhero.

The actor – who has played Batman in both ‘Batman Begins’ and ‘The Dark Knight’ – is said to be the number one choice to play Dr. Strange in movie studio Marvel’s latest comic book adaptation.

A source said: “Christian is hot property right now, courtesy of Batman.

“Doctor Strange is a very different kind of hero to Batman and it’s felt Christian is the sort of actor who can make the part work on screen.

“It is understood a deal could be struck in the coming weeks.”

The Welsh-born star “tops the list” of movie bosses to portray Dr. Strange, a former surgeon who becomes a powerful sorcerer after a car accident leaves him unable to perform operations.

Bale also plays hero John Connor in the upcoming ‘Terminator Salvation’ and has signed on for two more sequels in the science-fiction franchise.

He has also expressed an interest in reprising his role as Batman if a third film is confirmed.

Remember people:  Take this with a grain of salt.

In “movies that were fine to begin with and should be left alone” news, final negotiations have begun on hiring director Pascal Laugier (Martyrs) to direct the “reimagining” of Hellraiser.  Dimension Films has been restless trying to get this relaunch made. 

“This is a dream project for me,” Laugier said. “I know Clive Barker’s work very well, and I would never betray what he has done. Fans are expecting a definitive ‘Hellraiser,’ and I don’t want to take that away from them.”

Collider chatted with director Rob Cohen who touched on the news about Columbia Pictures, producer Joe Roth, himself, and Vin Diesel reuniting for xXx: The Return of Xander Cage and revealed dates for shooting and also the film’s release:

“Yes, they’re doing it with me and producer Joe Roth. We made the deal recently, it’s named xXx: The Return of Xander Cage. We met the writers yesterday and we’re trying to get into production by late spring, to have it out for the summer of 2010.”

Does anyone really want this movie?  Seriously?  Vin please for the love of God STOP!  Fast and Furious at least looks like a stupid good time, but no one cared about the first xXx! 

It’s been thirty-seven years since we last saw Jack Bauer and his fantastic man purse Jack Sack hit our airwaves.  When we last left our hero, he was busy staring wide-eyed into the horizon and it left fans of the show like myself wondering, “WTF?!”  Well it seems our screams have been heard, and the writers of 24 have listened carefully.

Tony “soul patch” Almeida is back from the dead (hell yeah) and is seemingly pissed off and a bad guy now.  We all know he was a Cubs fan, so I don’t blame him for being pissed.  In fact, it would probably hold up in court as a plausible reason for being crazy.  We have a female president, Angelina Jolie’s dad, many many explosions, many many many gunshots, and of course, sour puss Chloe sour pussing it up.  (Is pussing a word?)  24 finally returns this January.  Check out the promo here:

According to this press release Robert Downey Jr. and Don Cheadle have signed on to play their respective roles in the 2011 Avengers movie:

ROBERT DOWNEY JR. AND JON FAVREAU SUIT UP FOR MARVEL STUDIOS’ THE AVENGERS AND IRON MAN 2

As part of his four picture deal with Marvel Studios, Robert Downey Jr. is appearing as Tony Stark in THE AVENGERS motion picture, as well as reprising his starring role as the larger-than-life leading character in IRON MAN 2. Jon Favreau will return to direct the sequel to the blockbuster IRON MAN, which to date has grossed over $578 million worldwide, as well as executive produce THE AVENGERS.

Academy Award® nominee Downey was most recently seen in the summer comedy blockbuster TROPIC THUNDER starring opposite Ben Stiller and Jack Black. Before Iron Man, he was best known for his film roles in KISS KISS BANG BANG, WONDER BOYS and CHAPLIN, the film for which he was nominated for an Oscar®.

In addition to directing the first IRON MAN, Favreau has previously directed ELF, ZATHURA: A SPACE ADVENTURE and MADE. He is also well known for writing and starring in SWINGERS. He will next be seen acting in FOUR CHRISTMASES, I LOVE YOU MAN and COUPLES RETREAT.

In other news, I just had a geekgasm!